You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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