a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize