Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize