Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
