it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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