Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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