I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
