How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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