But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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