New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
