fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
