YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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