rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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