the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What a dumb baby whore.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
