i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
