I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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