party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
