i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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