I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
