Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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