Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
