She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
only you would photoshop your dick
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
