Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
