well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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