Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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