Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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