dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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