i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
