so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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