was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my shit smells like andre
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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