I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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