Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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