I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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