cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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