All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
