i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My balls are so social today.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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