I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize