My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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