yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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