I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
