There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize