We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
