My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
