Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
