He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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