he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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