TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
