he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
