I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
