dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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