Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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