Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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