'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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