my sisters under your porch take her home
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
