dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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