tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
