What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
