yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
