I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
